I Think it’s About Forgiveness…
There is one thing that keeps coming up in my life lately – forgiveness. This is not the word I picked for this year – that was Honesty, but you know what, right now part of Honesty for me IS forgiveness.
And it’s not just forgiving the people who jack me over, or who consistently let me down. I do need to find forgiveness for them, but more than that, it’s forgiveness for me.
I’m square with my debt, and not just because I paid it off (Yay!), but because I don’t truly think it was a mistake. It was scary, and it totally changed everything, but trust me, it was for the best.
Today as I think about all the things I can’t forgive myself for – these 2 are the biggest.
I don’t blog enough. I don’t put myself out there enough. I’m too busy working on other people’s stuff, so I put mine to the back burner. But really, that’s just an excuse, because I am scared to put myself out there. There I said it.
Yep – it’s true. I’m scared to work on my stuff, so I find an excuse for why I just can’t.
So, I publicly forgive myself for blowing off my business on a regular basis. And I commit to kicking it up a notch.
The other monkey on my back is my weight. I’m not exactly at an ideal weight for my height, and I’m quite a bit larger than I was when I was younger. I totally get that I will probably never be that small again (I was freaking TINY when I got married), and to be honest there are parts of me that I like better now (I have boobs, for instance) – but I’m not happy in general with my body.
There are several contributing factors to the current state of affairs – three of which are my darling children (3 kids in 4 years will wreak some serious havoc on your stomach) – but my youngest is almost 7. They can not be an excuse any longer. Another factor is my love of Coca-Cola. All that extra sugar is currently sitting on my rear end + my thighs + my tummy.
But today, November 12th, I declare a new day. I forgive myself for eating too much and drinking too much coke, and not exercising enough. I loudly proclaim that I am content right where I am. I forgive myself for not taking time to work out because I had “too much to do” (see image above).
I fully commit to going to bed at a decent hour so I can get up early and move my body. Whether I lose weight or not is not the point, it’s all about just taking care of myself.
So, really, maybe it’s not all about forgiveness. Maybe it’s about no excuses.
But my gut says that forgiveness sure doesn’t hurt. (You know, like Don Henley says – you keep carrying that anger, it’ll eat you up inside…)
18 Comments
Oh Amanda, this is awesome. Love your honesty and transparency, especially the boobs and coca cola 🙂 Thank you for this. xo
Thanks Theresa!
Love your reflective article Amanda:) I too, used posted that quote the other day, its a keeper. If you want some help and support in the healthy lifestyle department, I can help. xx
I’ll definitely check out your stuff Sonja!
This post really resonated with me Amanda, especially as I stare at my dormant blog. I’ve been kicking myself for not writing this year, letting my standards slip in regards to health, and putting myself in a position where I’m generally always chasing my tail.
I like the commitments you have made here…and I’m with you, beginning with forgiving myself.
Thanks Scott! I’ve been wondering where you were hiding – but since I was hiding myself I wasn’t about to call you out!
Looking forward to more from you – everything you’ve ever posted has been gold.
Thank you Amanda – yes, we all need to be a bit kinder to ourselves and practice self forgiveness a whole lot more when we don’t always get things right!
No more excuses! xox
Think.it is good to forgive yourself, also think you are much too hard on yourself. I think you are the age of one of my daughters. I was 33 and pregnant with my second child, already had an 8 year old. I became very ill and in turn stressed. Company trying to fire me because I was pregnant. I saw a therapist. She told me I needed to love myself
Initially I tought that was selfish. I learned that to fully love others, you need to love yourself. Seems that’s what you need to do. Quit trying to be perfect because none of us will ever be, only God is. When you give yourself permission you will find inner peace.
“…right now part of Honesty for me IS forgiveness.”
THAT is BEAUTIFUL. Honesty is a big deal for me these days, and I’m looking into all the different ways to be honest — this is a new one for me and I appreciate your drawing attention to it.
Thanks for your courage in posting this. <3
🙂
I love the honesty of this post! That is where it starts…being real with yourself about what you are doing….then forgiving yourself and moving on.
I do feel the forgiveness part is important. It opens up your energy and makes room for you to expand into new things. Other wise you end up beating yourself up for not doing things and feeling bad about your excuses and that really contracts your energy and fills you up with yuckiness…..and there is no room for expansion.
Keep on shining Amanda!
Thanks Leah!
I know you know this.. but I just love you. And honestly (sorry).. if those are the two biggest crimes you feel you have committed that you need to forgive.. you are in good shape.. And .. I can help you with that last thing you know…
love to you-
Lisa
xoxo – I know you can, but I’m afraid I’m the first type of client you talk about in your latest post!
Well I think you’re bomb diggity no matter how many cokes you swig. I do want to see your project though, cause I know it will be awesome.
Right back atcha with the bomb diggity!
Great post. Love and resonate with the honesty. We are often our own worst enemy. doing my best to view myself through the eyes of those who love me, which includes forgiveness. And it also holds me accountable to ‘no excuses’. Thank you.
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