We all have this huge misconception that being beautiful is the best way to get what we want in life. And because we firmly believe that, we go to great efforts to attain or retain any beauty we may be capable of having.

But the truth of the matter is, I am far more intrigued by a charming person than a beautiful person, every. single. time.

I’m also far more likely to go along with what the charming person wants to do than I am a beautiful person. Because beauty does not equal personality.

A charming person, by default is absolutely full to the brim of personality.

My friend Lisa asked me a few days ago why I wrote this book. My only answer was because I had to. It was in me and I had to get it out. I had no real motive or goal with it – just that it was something I had to say.

If you know me in real life, you will know that I have a rather bad habit of always saying things I feel I need to say – whether they are good things or bad is inconsequential to me – I have to say it, so I say it.

But in this case, this morning I realized why I needed to say this, and I’m sure that it’s for good reasons.

Because you are out there. Because you, who are absolutely brimming with personality, just don’t know how to use it. You have no idea that you can use it to not only get what you want out of life, but to also deliver the goodness that God gave you to the people that need you.

It might because you are shy. Or maybe you are just too unsure of yourself. Or maybe you feel like you’ve got nothing to offer the world.


I’m going to let you in on a secret of mine. I, in general, come across to most people as super confident to the point of arrogance. And 88.9% of the time, I am. I believe in myself. I know I am capable of doing things. And if I can’t or don’t want to, I’m not afraid to say so.

But I have doubts. Lots of them. I go through periods of just “knowing” that what I’m doing is stupid. Or irrelevant. Or just plain a bad idea. We all have doubts. We all have times when we are uncomfortable. We all feel like talent-less losers at one time or another.

You are not special in that.

So just stop hanging on to it. Let it go.

Do you know what all charming people have in common? They don’t let what other people think of them affect them. Oh, they have haters, but they don’t care what the haters have to say. They carry on.

You can’t ever expect to get what you want out of life – whether it’s an upgrade on a hotel room or someone to fund your pipe dream – if you are always diminishing your own personality. There will be people who don’t get you, and flat out don’t like you. That doesn’t make your personality any less awesome.

So, be your charming self. Be you. That is the real secret. When you are being you – resistance is futile.